


Be With You

by prophet_of_troy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Loving Kingsley, Sad Ending, Secret Relationship, True Love, betrothal, possessive Lucius, secret engagement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-31 07:57:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21122762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prophet_of_troy/pseuds/prophet_of_troy
Summary: Narcissa loves Kingsley, but knows that she cannot have him with her betrothal contract to Lucius. Running away was Kingsley's idea, giving him up for his own good was hers.





	Be With You

“Run away with me,” he said in that calm way he did anything, his always warm hand lazily tracing runes on her bare thigh. She smiled serenely at the touch before his words caught up with her and she pulled away to look at him.

“Are you mad? My father would track us in a second, or worse, Lucius. We can't do that.”

Her heart squeezed uncomfortably at saying that, the same thing she said before they started, and she felt tears prick her eyes like needles. Narcissa sat up, pulling the blanket with her. She felt him move with her, his hand on her arm with a gentle squeeze and his lips on her shoulder with a kiss. 

“We could take them, Nar. You don't have to keep letting them rule our life.”

She closed her eyes, ignoring the hard rush of her heartbeat at their conversation and his touch. He didn't understand, how could he? He didn't know the pressures of being a Black, of having the family she had. 

“I know I don't understand,” he mumbled against her skin, his breath drawing goosebumps as he did so. She shivered, feeling herself smile. This was what she loved about him. There was never any judgment, never a harsh word. From him, there was only ever understanding. “Help me see.”

“I don't know how,” she told him. “It's an absolute, it's always been an absolute. I'm to marry Lucius after graduation, and if my father knew about us, he'd rip me away from you and make me marry him before that. What good is Astronomy to a housewife?”

She felt him stand and come around to face her, kneeling in front of her with her hands in his. Every part of him was warm, all the time, and she was always cold; but when she was with him, it was as though he was setting her on fire from the inside out. His stare was warm, brown eyes grabbing hold of her icy eyes and breathing life into them. Into her. 

Her eyes drifted to his lips as he spoke. She loved watching them dance with the sweetest words, the warmest voice like melted honey washing over her. 

“I'm not just saying this for the sake of saying it,” he told her, and how could she ever doubt his sincerity when every fiber of his soul breathed truth. “I love you, Narcissa Black, and I want to be with you. I know you want the same thing, and even if I don't understand, if you tell me your father wouldn't listen then I believe you. Run away with me. I'm sure we could figure out how to sit our NEWTs, and I'll apply for the Auror ranks come next fall. I have the money to last us until then. It isn't much, definitely not what you're used to-”

“I don't care about that,” she assured him, removing one of her hands from his to caress his face. “I don't care about any of it, I just want you. But, this is crazy. I couldn't bare to see to you hurt because of me, and my father isn't a forgiving man. Lucius makes him seem tame.”

He leaned into her touch as though he were starving for it, kissing her palm. “I don't care about them. As long as you're at my side, we can get past anything.”

She frowned. “You truly believe that, don't you?”

He lifted his eyes to meet hers. “More than anything, I believe that.”

Narcissa smiled, and it slowly spread into a grin. “Alright, Kingsley, I'll run away with you. Just you and me.”

“Really?” He exclaimed, his eyes wide with hope. “You will?”

At her nod, he stood and picked her up with him so that her feet were a few inches above the cold stone floor- he knew she hated that- and he spun her around laughing. He had the most wonderful laugh, she'd long since decided, and it was infectious. She began laughing with him, burying her face into his neck and with it- her fears. They were just barely forgotten when he stopped their wild twirling and claimed her lips again; stirring the leftover embers in her heart from before.

*

Halloween was perfect timing. Everyone would be distracted by the feast, and the ghosts playfully monitoring the hallways would keep most people in the Great Hall. Narcissa would feign monthly pains, to which no one would question, and no one would even miss Kingsley until it was too late and they were far enough away from Hogwarts. Kingsley's father had a cottage in France, Narcissa had allowance saved up from her father and jewelry to sell if needed. They would easily be able to hide out until fall when Kingsley would start Auror training, and they decided that would be as safe as they could be together. Especially if they happened to elope whilst abroad. 

Narcissa couldn't help but stay up late, twirling the ring behind the drawn curtains the way she wished she could during the day. She wished she could tell Regulus, whom she'd grown close to after Sirius' banishment from their family. She was sure he'd be happy for her, but he moved in the same circles as Lucius so what did she really know about him? She sighed, knowing that soon she'd never be welcome to any of her family. She'd spurned her sister when she was disowned for her love, the way she was supposed to, and she'd done the same to Sirius. Neither of them would have anything to do with her, she was sure, and soon she'd be on the other side of that. 

The irony hurt her heart, and she slipped the ring back onto its chain, the chain back around her neck, and refreshed the Disillusionment charm. She couldn't risk someone finding out beforehand and ruining their plans. They were both of age, so lawfully they were in their rights, but this was a world at war and laws never mattered less.

Kingsley was a godsend. She'd long since decided that. A guiding light just for her, a beacon of hope in the otherwise crushing darkness. She'd feel it, the dark quietly reaching further and further with the hands of the Dark Lord, with the hard face of her Father, Lucius' cold voice, and then Kingsley was there chasing away the night with his burning warmth. 

She could do this. She created a mantra, Lucius didn't matter, nothing mattered, Kingsley loved her. That was the only thing that mattered, and everything else was second.

They'd made their plans, and then decided to keep their distance from each other until Halloween. It had been her idea, and he'd agreed that it was probably for the best, but the moment the words passed her lips she wished she hadn't said them. Stupid, cowardice; the doubt that seeped into her without Kings' constant reassuring smiles, without his lips against hers to hold back any doubts she might voice. Acting normal should have been second nature to her by now, but she struggled this time. 

“It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter,” she muttered to herself, eyes closed tight in the morning before she got out of bed. She squeezed the ring, that nearly burned her with Kingsley's love, until it cut into her palm. “Only him, only him, only love.”

The castle was decorated soon with large pumpkins which had long faces carved into them. There were skeletons instead of suits of armor. The ghosts seemed to have been given free rein of the castle and, with the exceptions of the Bloody Baron and the Grey Lady, the ghosts were all too happy to participate. Walking to classes, to the Great Hall, to the dungeons, Narcissa felt eyes watching her only to find no one there when she turned around. 

“These decorations are childish,” she commented once in the evening, plaiting her hair for sleep. Kingsley loved watching her plait her hair, said that her fingers were enchanting and that the only thing that could tear his eyes away from them was her smile or her eyes watching him. “I can't believe Dumbledore thinks it amusing. They're garish.”

“Or maybe,” one of the other girls suggested, she never cared to learn any of their names, “Maybe you're just distracted. Something's the matter, everyone's noticed.”

Her fingers didn't fumble, but her heart skipped a beat. “Everyone?”

Another of the girls corrected her. “Well, everyone in Slytherin. Lucius was asking us to make sure you're alright. He's such a gentleman.”

Narcissa clenched her jaw. “Indeed he is. Well, you may tell him that I am perfectly fine. I think I am getting my bleed soon, and just after that cold last month that I'm still not quite over.”

There had been no cold last month, only Kingsley's hands and his lips and his voice. Mention a bleed and no man, or woman for that matter, would question whatever strange behavior you would then exhibit. It set her up for their escape, their future. Three days, she could smile and pretend another three days. She'd been packed for the past five, a small satchel hidden under her bed with a similar Disillusionment charm that was on her ring. Only her most prized possessions, things she wouldn't have on display anyway. There was a book on the bedside that she always had there, for when she woke out of a dead sleep and had trouble getting back. She didn't want to leave it behind, but to remove it would be too suspicious. 

And Kingsley was all she needed. 

Two days left, and she was taken aside by Regulus who wore a concerned expression. Regulus, who bled sincerity out of every pore. That was how he was dangerous. He pulled her into an alcove; the one behind the tapestry, she knew well, where she and Kings would meet for short, secret smiles and secret kisses. Soon, it wouldn't have to be a secret any longer. 

“Regulus, unhand me. You'll leave marks, and I needn't remind you how Lucius will react.”

It was suspiciously easy to slip back into who she used to be when faced with Regulus, when before the strangers had her struggling. He kept his sense of urgency, but let his hand drop. There had been a Hufflepuff, in the Great Hall, that had been having too nice a time with his friends- they were only third years- and bumped into her, leaving a slight bruise on her leg. He'd been in the Hospital Wing by the end of the day, and despite there never being any proof, everyone knew it was Lucius. 

“It is because of Lucius that I am here,” he told her, holding his breath as someone passed on the other side of the tapestry. 

“In a lover's alcove?” She mocked lightly. “Why, Regulus, are you in love with me?”

“Cissa,” he admonished. 

She lightened her face. “No, no, it's alright, but I must warn you it wouldn't work out.”

“Lucius knows.” That stopped her, though it shouldn't have. It could have meant anything, he could know any number of things. It didn't mean- “He knows that you're going to run.”

Narcissa breathed out in relief. Maybe he didn't know about Kingsley. Maybe they were still safe. “Does he know when?”

Regulus shook his head. “No, he's keeping an eye out for your health to come back. He thinks, once your color returns, that you'll run. He-he says he knows you've been with another.”

She felt her breath be stolen from her, a mild gasp escaping her lips as she leaned on the wall. “Does he know who? Wh-what else does he know? Please, Regulus, you must tell me.”

“Shacklebolt. He knows it was Shacklebolt. He's had people watching you, that's why he thinks you're running. He's also had people watching him. Warn your lover, Lucius' rage is just under the surface and he won't be forgiving. The only thing stopping him is your supposed health. He's trying to hold his cards close to his chest until you slip up.”

Narcissa clamped a hand to her mouth. If Lucius knew, knew everything, then they were doomed. She'd known he was watching her, she just thought she was being clever in her trickery. Clever in her betrayals. “He can't have him. Not Kingsley. And not me. It changes nothing.”

It changes nothing, she told herself. Regulus offered to help her, but she couldn't tell him about Halloween. Not when that seemed to be the only thing Lucius didn't know. Instead, she made herself sicker. She didn't go to classes the day before they would run, nor did she go to classes the day of. She confined herself to her bed, smiled thankfully when Lucius cast his monitoring charms on her. Out of his undying concern, he assured her. Nothing was too much when it came to his love's health, he told her. 

It changes nothing, she told herself when she shrunk her bag and hid it in her pocket before letting Lucius escort her to the Hospital Wing. Kinglsey would find her there, closer to their chosen escape door. They would run to Hogsmeade and the owner of the Hog's Head, where Kingsley worked the summer before, would help them get further. 

“I should stay here,” Lucius said, “Make sure my bride is feeling better.”

“You are too kind,” Narcissa felt herself say. “Your company is always desired, but I would feel so guilty were I the reason you missed out on the feast. The other Marked ones will be looking for you.”

It was the last comment that made him twitch. He didn't know she knew, she didn't think, and he wouldn't want the others to think he couldn't handle his own witch. He studied her face, the smallest of smiles she only saved for Kingsley, and nodded. 

“Forgive my absence, pet. I shall return after the feast.” He kissed her hand and left, content in his monitoring spells. Narcissa felt content in knowing that Samhain, with the thinning of the Veil, such charms would be less effective. 

Once he was gone, Madame Pomfrey was there, wiping Narcissa's pale make up off with a cloth. Narcissa hoped it wasn't that obvious, and her face must've shown that. The woman laid a gentle hand on her face. “You are far from the only one to fake an illness to escape an overly affectionate betrothed, and despite my wishes, I doubt very much you will be the last.”

The doors to the Hospital Wing opened again, and Madame Pomfrey stood at once to see who it was, walking around the divider erected around Narcissa's bed. 

“Sir, unless you are injured or sick I must ask you to go back to the feast.”

“Narcissa?”

“Kingsley?” She called back. 

His voice lit her heart like a candle, after having gone too long without hearing it. She drank in his voice as though she were dying. He moved the divider and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her from the bed. She inhaled his smell, the scent of cinnamon and something else earthy. 

“I missed you,” she sobbed into his shoulder. 

He let out a breath, like he'd been holding his since the last time he held her. “We'll never have to be apart from each other again. Have you your things?”

They pulled apart, and she nodded. “Only what's most important. Some clothes, some pictures, jewelry to sell.”

He embraced her again, whispering desperate in her ear. “I love you.”

“I love you, Kingsley, but we must hurry. Lucius knows about us, and he knows our plans. The only thing I hope that saves us is that he doesn't know it will happen tonight. He thinks me too sick, but he's coming here immediately after the feast.”

“My heart nearly stopped when he arrived to the feast late. I was watching from the hall. Tumnal Spout polyjuiced as me tonight, and I've made a deal with the Fat Friar, both should buy us some time. Come, we must get to Aberforth's. We'll use his Floo to leave Scotland.”

He took her hand and pulled her to the door, both of them forgetting about the matron until she blocked their path. “Don't! You'll be spotted. Go out the back way, through here!”

She led them to a portion of the wall that opened for them with a whispered word. Narcissa thanked her, Kingsley thanked her, and then they were gone. They ran down the hill, laughing together like mad- their eyes going to each other every few seconds to make sure the other really was there. In his presence, Narcissa felt a part of her come back to her- like her soul coming back together. A piece of her that was only there when he was. 

Ahead of them was Hogsmeade, its street lamps lit, and behind them stood Hogwarts- lit like a large beacon for safety. To them, Hogwarts was only suffering. They couldn't be together there. There would only be heartbreak there. Ahead of them was freedom. 

Ahead of them was Lucius; Kingsley stopped short, tucking her behind him and brandishing his wand. Narcissa panted, her breath blowing hot against the cold in white clouds against Kingsley's back. 

“My darling, what are you doing out of bed? You'll catch your death.” Narcissa felt frozen, as did Kingsley as he didn't move or speak either. After a moment Lucius continued, his fake concern for her dropping as he paced like a caged animal while standing still. “Imagine my surprise, my dearest, when my associate Crabbe tells me he spotted Kingsley fucking Shacklebolt heading towards the Hospital Wing, when he was at the Ravenclaw table eating dinner and lulling me into a false sense of security. You made a fool of me!”

His anger made Narcissa recoil, her heart pounding. If Lucius was any less human, he'd have been foaming at the mouth. As it was, he was spitting mad with his cheeks moving as he spoke- his eyes looking crazed and Narcissa had never been so afraid. 

“Let us pass,” Kingsley demanded in a voice she'd never heard from his lips. “She is no longer yours.”

“She will always belong to me,” he said with those wild eyes, gritting his teeth with his nostrils flaring. “Unless of course, you think her yours because she spread her legs for you like the whore she is.”

Kingsley growled, and she felt it reverberate in his back. “How dare you speak about her that way!”

“I will!” Lucius shouted, his voice echoing into the night. “I will speak about her whatever manner I please because she is mine. I have a contract with our names on it and that will always make her my property.” 

“Let us pass,” Kingsley said again, his grip tightening on his wand. 

Lucius stood up straighter where he'd started to slouch in their direction, smoothing his hair back. “Narcissa, come, and I shall forgive you your transgression.”

Narcissa tightened her grip on Kingsley, using him to ground herself. “I'm not going anywhere with you, Lucius.”

“You would shame me like this?” He asked, though it was with a raised, warning tone. “Dishonor me?”

She gritted her teeth, taking Kingsley's hand to stand beside him. They would belong to each other. “I would wish every dishonor upon you.”

“You will come back to the castle with me, Narcissa, or you can crawl to your lover's corpse.”

“Do not think me so easily defeated, Malfoy,” Kingsley said, tensing further. 

“Truthfully, I don't think much of you at all.”

“Then let us pass.”

“I think I'd rather kill you. Then maybe I'll teach her a lesson over your dead body. Our girl shines radiant in the moonlight, don't you think?”

Kingsley took a step closer to him. “You will not touch her.”

“I'll do more than that, I give you my word. Narcissa, dearest, is this boy really worth losing your life?”

“I love him, which is more than anyone will ever be able to say for you, and Kingsley loves me. And that- and that is worth everything.”

She could tell her words hit him, could see the clench in his jaw. Could see him nod, if obviously mostly to himself. “Very well.”

It happened very quickly. Kingsley shot off first, just before Lucius, and they hit at the same time; Lucius thrown onto his back a few more yards away, and Kingsley on his, his robes quickly darkening with blood and the ground around them. Narcissa screamed, leaned over him with her hands soaked in it. 

“No, no, no, Kingsley? Kings!”

“I will not be humiliated in such a way,” Lucius growled behind her, his hair and clothing mussed as she'd never seen on him, and a madness to his eyes that made her recoil. His wand was pointed at her. “Choose him once more, and he will die.”

“Nar,” Kingsley spoke, and with his name for her came blood bubbling out of his mouth. “Nar, don't listen to him.”

She shushed him gently, pulling his head into her lap like they sat sometimes- just talking about what they wanted out of life. She loved how sitting in such a way let her see the spark in his eyes when he talked about being an Auror. He was going to do such good in the world. 

“And if I don't,” she said. “If I return to the castle with you, will you help him now and leave him be? You'll never harm him again?”

“You have my word,” a victorious Lucius said. 

Kingsley was shaking his head at her, no longer able to speak, with more blood being coughed up. It was bubbling, arterial, one of the only such spells she knew. It was boiling his blood, starting in his heart. 

“Do I have your Vow?”

There was a pause. She turned back to him. Lucius' wand was no longer pointed at them, but at the darkened sky. “I do so swear.”

His wand lit at the promise, and she looked back at Kingsley- who was making guttural sounds that made it seem as though he were begging her. She leaned over him and kissed his lips, tasting his blood on hers when she pulled away. “I love you, Kingsley, but nothing is worth your life.”

Lucius began his incantation, and she watched Kingsley's spilled blood soak back into him. Kingsley raised a hand to caress her face. “Your freedom is.”

Narcissa sobbed, kissing him once more and with her wand, said, “Obliviate.”


End file.
